Living on West Tulsa Time

Well the call came

Happy Birthday ah#2

It was Jeff Sr. He proceeded to try to rip me a new one. He asked why Ed spoke to Jeffy. I told him that Ed wanted to try to clear up things and get us back to the way it was 6 years ago so that I would stop walking around with a broken heart. He told me that wasn’t going to happen. No judge in the universe would ever allow me to see my son. He said that Jeffy didn’t want to see me. That only under extreme care of a psychiatrist should I ever be allowed to see him. Then he restated that no judge would allow that cause of all the child support I owe. I told him was aware of the general amount he was owed and that I still have every intention to pay those funds. He asked how much I thought I owed. I told him about 18K and he quoted me a sum of around 30K I corrected him. At only 100+ a month my child support would only me about 12K for what I hadn’t paid. He told me that my child support was nearly $200. I told him that he had suggested raising my child support and that if he ever did it I was never served with the new court order and my court order said only 100+. I also said that child support and visitation do not go hand in hand. But it was okay if Jeffy didn’t come to me this year and that Jeff could continue to poison his mind against me. Jeffy would be an adult in a year and that Jeff sr would have no say after that. He wanted to know why I would suggest he was poisoning Jeffy against me. I told him that he uses this as an occasion to continually abuse me. Keep me under his thumb, but I wasn’t going to live that way. I lived here I shopped here and I was bound to run into them eventually. We don’t even shop there. This was just a fluke. I wasn’t going to let this limit my life. I would be here when Jeffy made the move. Eddie approached Jeffy not sr. To make peace and avoid the nastiness that comes with dealing with Sr. We talked about when we saw Jeffy last. Sr. said that was a mistake. He told me that Ed had no right to approach Jeffy. Eddie was violating a court order. I told him there wasn’t a court order against Eddie. When he suggested he get one I told him to do what he pleased cause eventually my son would know me. He would seek me out. I would be here to be found. I said I’ll tell you what, when I get a job and I get insurance I’ll seek our psychological evaluation. If that professional says that I need to be supervised then I’ll follow that plan of reconciliation., but I would not let Jeff keep power over me by abusing me. I would avoid Jeff Sr. at all costs. Good night and have a good weekend.

There are things I wish I would have said and things that I did say that meant I broke an agreement. I took it all personally. My love for Jeffy is out there. He can’t deny it. It’s fueled me some days. It’s lived in my heart and sometimes my imagination. If this brings about legal action., even child support court then so be it. I’ve hidden in the pain for way too long. I’m going to live. I will be cautious but I will live. I don’t think a judge would ever grant a po for things that were alleged 12 years ago. I really don’t care. Jeffy will have to renew it when he turns 18 and I don’t think that will ever happen.

I almost fell to crying bits when I hung up. I got loud but G-man was going to bed and Tiger was asleep so hopefully they won’t ever feel the effects of this. Well okay I’m going to be grumpy tomorrow cause my BiPolar will never let this go tonight. I’ll be okay. I shouldn’t shut Eddie out right now I should be in bed but I knew putting this in digital form would help me.

God Bless My sons. I love them all and always will

posted by Debbysewn @ 8:46 PM