Living on West Tulsa Time

I'm up way too early

and I stayed up way too late. I went to bed at a decent hour but I just couldn't fall asleep. I knew I should have taken that sleeping pill. I got up and rocked the baby instead, I brought him to our bed too. He doesn't like to cuddle anymore or he has restless butt syndrome cause he tossed and turned for the whole time he was in there. I guess I experienced a blood sugar crash. I tried to get up to take the baby back to his bed and I had this awful dizzy spell. The room was spinning, putting my foot on the floor to stop the bed from moving didn't even help. I felt like I was on a ship caught in a hurricane. I did go to sleep though. Now I'm up. I've had a shower and started my day. I read all my email, causght up at Chit Chat, and read the last two days synopises for my soaps. My usually morning dizzy spell is starting and I'm thinking the distance to my pillow is way too far.

On the other hand, I stink. I have had my shower but I think my body chemistry is changing again. My deoderant doesn't work and I feel like I smell like onions all the time. I'm not eating onions that often. It's gross.

I dreamt about Jeffy tonight. That's probably why I went to rock the baby and why I'm up. My memories and my hopes for him always intitate a bipolar swing. I can't help it. I do handle it pretty well. It only affects my sleeping. Well that's not true my prayers for him get stuck on replay and I repeat them over and over. I guess my talking about him to the baby may have kept the poor kid awake, he's slept in so far this morning. lol, they are so much like him.

I thought I heard G-man thumping around, he's probably on a bathroom run. Even at 5 that bed looks awful big for him. He's as skinny as a rail, but he eats all the time. I'll miss that when they put him on the medication this fall. I hope that my work this summer can prevent it but so far there hasn't been any change. I've been doing the deep tissue and soft tissue sensory work and it's not helping either. I didn't want my kids to deal with this problem. I'm sorry boys, had I known that you would have been more likely to suffer through this I would have tried to change things. I didn't know about add and adhd back then, not until I was already pregnant with Jeffy. p&pt for you kiddo, stay safe.

posted by Debbysewn @ 4:24 AM