what is drama
I was accused of creating drama yesterday when I stood up for myself in an email to my family. I broke my agreements and took my mother's yelling and conclusions personally. I couldn't help it. I get tired of being misrepresented by the woman who's lies destroyed more than one marriage and have made my life hell for years.When I've been given ulitmatums to give her up or face consequences like not seeing Jr. ever again, I've obviously made the wrong choice. Why? Why should I have such loyalty to her abusive and cloying manners? Could it be an addiction to drama?
Most likely it was a lack of control. I wasn't feeling well, my own aches and pains were bothering me as well as my own bipolar. So I bristled at her comments. Okay honestly her comments that I was too mentally ill for her to be around have been bothering me from the time I heard them. Where does she get off acusing me of being so ill that I'm a menace to her? Excuse me, but I'm a product of her mistakes and the only menace to her is the guilt she should feel when she takes an inventory of her abusiveness toward me and my sister.
She tells me stuff like I tried to bash your head in cause you wouldn't stop crying, and I needed a break so I left you in the back of your father's truck all day so he could take care of you. It all makes me wonder why I've been so loyal since her rejection of me has obviously been going on since I was concieved.
Obviously I'm lucky that her attempts on my life didn't leave me permanently disabled, but I'm still emotionally scarred.
I'm almost always willing to rescue her until her decisions put me or my boys in jeopardy. She doesn't like that. After all she's been used to being #1 in my life but now that she isn't she can't take the pressure of being on her own and she creates drama?
I don't like that term, drama. It's real life not some made up soap opera where people are cast and recast, brought back from the dead or created to be clones.
In an attempt to resume my agreements I want to be sure to get somethings off my chest.
T needs to get off her high horse. Her life is drama, after all 2 incomes can't support her family and she wants her mother to contribute to the coffers. Pullleeeeezeeee. You're children and husband are the stress in your life so don't you dare blame your high pressure career. You chose to work in that environment, I didn't ask to have a loony for a mother. (okay I'll give you props for listening to a woman being blugeoned to death, but I'd give you more props if you were the officer, or lawyer that got that man put away for the rest of his life, did you even testify or did you let the tapes speak on the victim's behalf?)
I know travesties occur on a daily basis. We are living in a Godless society. Okay that's not right cause so many people worship their own personal gods; money, alcobol, chemical dependency, sex, etc... However, there's no unifying deity anymore. Heck there's no unifying anything around here.
Proud to be an American until you have to pay taxes or vote.
Proud to support our local schools until the option for a private school becomes available?
Proud of our home until we learn that one of our children is considered a lower class citizen based on income.
I don't know why I even bother.
posted by Debbysewn @ 7:20 AM
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