God I miss my son
He'll be 16 in January and I'm missing him terribly. All the things I just knew we would be doing this Christmas. Driving Lessons, test drives and such.I should be happy afterall I have 2 adorable little boys at home and a loving husband but we all know there's a piece missing and it's all my fault. I should have never signed those papers.
Signing papers causes real trouble for me everytime I do it I have anxiety attacks for days afterward.
I had a icky thought earlier. I remember Eddie metioning a sore on his thing and I asked the doctor about it, cause I had one on my leg. It's a boil/carbunkle/deep tissue zit, a form of a herpes virus that is spread by blood contact. I caught them from my mom who always had them on her back and arms. We were expected to pop, lance or whatever them. I got the virus on me and passed it on to my lovers. I'm praying I don't infect my son's. Being pregnant for the majority of the last 4 years has really strenghtened my immune system. I haven't had them as often or as long. Thank heaven. I take precautions like washing any clothing that comes in contact with them right away and disinfecting the area often. What a terrible legacy to pass on.
So those guys in my life before I knew better have been aflicted and I'm sorry. My oldest son and this line of thought are connected. His father got these owie's often. I assumed that he was just dirty and he tought I was infecting him from sleeping around. Neither of us was right. Sorry AH#1.
I'm at work today, watching a scanner bar grow as I create ebooks for our potential customers and investors. This place is so cool. The family is a great group to work for. I hope I can stay around but one never knows what fate will bring. I decided to place one of these blogs online so i could access my journal anytime and to keep a public place for Jr. to find me. I had been living south of his home town for about 2 years and I almost bought a house in the same subdivision as his Grandparents this fall. O how I wished the foundation wasn't in such bad shape. Maybe next summer after I recover from the expense of unaccepted contracts and bad inspections I can wrangle a loan that will allow for repairs to that home. For now I'll just rent a house by Southroads and whine that I want to go to the movies more often since it's right there.
I'm hungry and it's lunch time so I need to get out of this chair.
posted by Debbysewn @ 9:06 AM
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